Everyone deserves

good therapy

It’s time for your journey

David Gaines serves all of Washington state online

David has been counseling individuals, families, and couples since 2019, but before that he worked for five years at Seattle Children’s Hospital in their inpatient mental health department. He works with a variety of people on different issues.

About David

I’ve been in the mental health field since 2012 and have been practicing as Marriage and Family Therapist since 2019.

Prior to becoming a therapist, I thought I wanted to be a lot of other things- English teacher, travel writer, healthcare administrator, business owner. Nothing really had the sticking power I was searching for. Meanwhile, I was grappling with life transitions, moves, community shifts, and coming to terms with the loss of a parent during my teenage years. Therapy gave me the chance to give myself the love, compassion, and focus I had been putting off. I was witnessed in a way that fostered growth and healing.

I aim to listen deeply to your experiences; to understand your emotions, thoughts, conclusions, and dreams. To hear the things said and unsaid. I also hope you experience therapy as a balance between gravity and levity. You and the problems that affect you matter and deserve attention. I’ve come to find that life is full of amazing little moments, and stupid jokes. I hope you laugh at my stupid jokes.

Outside of therapy my life is busy. I am married to my wife and we are attempting to raise 3 humans that make the world a more loving, connected, and desirable place to inhabit.

Issues I Treat

Trauma Care

Adverse events shake us to our core. They make us question life in a different way & they can leave a lasting imprint on our psyche. Sometimes, we continue to feel powerless over situations and we lose hope. This may mean you are experiencing aftermath called trauma. Trauma counseling helps us reinvent ourselves and our futures & regain parts of our true self. Sharing your struggles in therapy isn’t the only way to go about it.

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is one kind of processing for trauma, depression, phobias, and anxiety. Using bilateral stimulation (both sides of your body, and thus your brain) through eye movements, tapping, and/or sound, one is able to revisit hard memories and relinquish the control they have over them.

Family Therapy

Not everyone knows about family therapy. It’s a terrific way to improve the entire dynamic of your home – whether it’s couples work or intergenerational growth (you and your parents or siblings, you and your partner and children) you’re seeking change.
Using Family Systems therapy, we see the stories of our family and we have a chance to dream about what we wish it looked like. We learn skills to get us closer to our goals, and we soften, forgive, and understand through deep listening.

Men’s Issues

Men have unique needs when it comes to therapy. Whether you’re struggling with sexual health, such as erectile dysfunction, or you’re navigating major life changes, such as divorce - doing it alone hurts. Having a male therapist who gets it can help you open up more readily.

Neurodivergence

ADHD/Attention Deficit & Hyperactivity Disorder, Autism, and other types of neurodivergence can wreak havoc on your personal life and it can affect the way we relate to others. Do you often wish you could just get organized? Do you feel like you waste so much time doing things in a roundabout way? Do people in your life get annoyed when it takes you so much more effort than other people to get things done? You may have attention, memory, or concentration issues, but you’re not lost. Let’s get you back on track to be your best self!

Individual Counseling

Therapy is a place where you can take off your heavy backpack and rest at last. Life can be relentless – sometimes all we need who’s there just for us. Therapy is a unique relationship. David listens deeply, seeks to understand your perspective, and helps reorient his clients to a better way of living.
If you’re feeling discouraged or afraid, it’s okay. We can still make a start. It’s worth it to grow and it can help others in your life through leading by example. A rising tide raises all boats.

Anger

We’ve all had it– anger, rage– the emotion that has nowhere to go but inward. It corrodes our sense of justice, it warps our thinking, and it can get out of control, hurting other people.
Learn to cope and how to change longstanding behaviors. Transform your thinking so you can get free from this toxic emotion for good.

Emotional Manipulation

Do you suspect one of your parents/partner may be a narcissist? Or do you just know that they confuse and hurt you sometimes
Suspecting someone has a personality disorder can help explain their issues & behaviors, but it can’t help us move forward.
Internalized shame, fear of making a mistake, and general unease can really impact us over time. Therapy is transformative for those trapped in these enigmatic dynamics.

Parenting: New Dads & NB Parents

Becoming a dad/parent/step-parent can be demanding, exciting, rewarding, and taxing. Sometimes we don’t get the training other folks do to parent the way we want to. It’s tough to not repeat the past, and sometimes we have lingering baggage about our own dads that hurt in the present moment. Get the insight to be the best pop you can be. Sometimes therapy’s the only place men can learn these skills.

Clients I don’t work so well with

I may not be the right therapist for you if:

You’re struggling currently with out of control sexual behaviors, such that it is impacting you functioning, relationships, and work/school.

You’re currently trying to change your addictive behavior with substances and/or you haven’t been able to maintain abstinence. You are new to being clean/sober.

You want to change other people (and yourself) without doing anything differently.

You are looking for a skills based/behaviorist/cognitive therapist. Skills and new ideas come up along the way but I am not going to teach you new skills, have you do homework, or instruct you in any way. I may spontaneously ask you to do things outside of session, but this will not be coming from a workbook. I am not a CBT therapist.

You are not willing to look at the past for indications & clues to present day function-impairment.

You are looking for a couples therapist. While your partner may be invited and attend one or multiple sessions, I will eventually refer you to another clinician if there is a need for relational work.

I often talk in metaphors and imagery and sometimes that’s not so good for folks.

Services & Rates

  • These 53-minute sessions are $175

  • These sessions are 53-minutes and are $175

Treatment Modalities

I use a variety of methods when helping you with your problems. Each person is different, so some things benefit one person but not another.

Narrative Therapy

This type of counseling acknowledges that we are each an amalgamation of various intersecting identities and we carry a history and context with us into the therapeutic space. A narrative therapist helps people understand their unique story and illustrates how we can shape our story so that it’s not so painful. They do this by externalizing our problems: you are not the problem, the problem is the problem!

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model that views the mind as made up of distinct sub-personalities or "parts," each with its own perspectives, emotions, and roles. It aims to help individuals understand and integrate these parts to achieve greater self-awareness, balance, and healing. The core idea is that by addressing and harmonizing these internal parts, one can resolve internal conflicts and foster overall well-being.

Adlerian Psychology

Named after its creator, Alfred Adler, Adlerian (or Individual Psychology) theory dictates that all human being strive to be whole, to matter, and they need encouragement. Suffering comes from a lack of belonging in some sort of community or family dynamic. Reorientation toward connectedness and holism is the key to greater joy and reconciliation.

Education

2019 MS, Seattle Pacific University Marriage and Family Therapy

Paying for Therapy

  • I am happy to provide you with a Superbill you can submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement.

    A Superbill is a "glorified invoice" of sorts- it provides dates of service, charges, diagnosis, etc.

    To find out your out of network benefits, please contact your insurance company.

  • I am not in-network with any insurance providers. I am considered an out of network provider.

  • You are welcome to use and place on file your Health Savings Account card (HSA) or Flexible Savings Account (FSA) card. These cards are not eligible for payment for missed appointments.

  • I am contracted with First Choice Employee Assistance Program. Please reach out to your employer to learn if this applies to you.

  • I require at least 24 hours prior notice. Less than 24 hour notice and you will be charged the full fee of the session.

  • The No Surprises Act requires health care providers to provide clients with a Good Faith Estimate (GFE) of expected charges for items and services to uninsured and self-pay patients. The GFE is only an estimate and actual charges may differ.

FAQs

  • I find that weekly sessions for the first 3 weeks or so tend to be the most helpful.

    I see some people for a long time and some people for a short time. Some people start out weekly and then go to every other week , monthly, or on an as needed basis as problems clear up and that's ok with me.

  • After a few initial sessions where we bulid rapport, usually you and I both get wrapped up in conversation like we were together in person. Many people find it easier thank driving to an office and home. It's accessible for parents and people crunched for time. While you may miss the idea of having a space to process in, we can also work on creating that space for yourself during our hour together.

  • First, I'm a compassionate guy who deeply listens to people. I try to be warm and have a sense of humor. I'm pretty down to Earth and honest. I am also a Dad, which can be helpful for people seeking parenting help.

    I will challenge you to look deeply & I will ask you questions. I will encourage you when you are feeling defeated, and I will celebrate your accomplishments. I am on your team and will remind you about your innate strengths when you forget.

  • I'm planning on a soft transition back to in-person therapy!

  • Schedule a free 15-minute phone call where we will chat about what you're looking for in therapy, what issues you face, and I'll tell you a bit about myself. This will help us determine if you and I are a good match for therapy. Feel out what it's like to talk to me, if you feel comfortable, this is one step toward seeing what it's like to do therapy with me.

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free

- Wendell Berry

Reach out to schedule your free introductory call today.

Send me a note